Time to call a spade a spade…

“Don’t let comparison steal your joy”.

Such an inspirational little phrase. I read it and I imagine myself fist bumping myself in my head. Yeah Kayla! Don’t compare yourself, choose joy! Easier said than done. My fantastic ability to compare myself to others is award winning. I am so good at it, half the time I don’t even realize I am doing it. I want her skin, her hair, that house they get to have, her work out discipline….the list goes on and on.

What’s even scarier is when those comparisons go even deeper: I wish my husband did things like her husband did, my writing will never own up to the writing on that blog, why don’t I have more friends like she does. Often times I arrive at a place where those comparisons start eating away at my soul and cause me to question the very characteristics that are good and beautiful and make me uniquely Kayla.

The thing I am realizing is, there is another word for comparison that we like to avoid using because in my opinion, it sounds really harsh. That word is greed. At the end of the day, when I choose to not be thankful, I choose to be greedy. When I walk away from indulging in comparisons, it leaves me with a giant nauseating stomach ache.

I am not saying that this is true for everyone. I just know for myself, its time to call a spade a spade. Its time for me to be a little more real with myself, and its time to be a little more content.

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Poppy Seed

So, in addition to everything else in my life, my friend Lauren and I decided to venture on a little side project we like to called Poppy Seed Event Productions.

Basically people have been paying us to help plan and execute their weddings for a while now. We love doing it, and humbly I must say we are pretty good at it. One morning over breakfast we decided what the heck- lets combine forces. Enter Poppy Seed.

We are a small little coordinating team with lots of experience. Lauren is even a licensed wedding planner, pretty nifty of you ask me. So check out our blog, and if you know of anyone who needs help with their wedding (or other event) and they want someone who is willing to work within their budget, send them our way!

our blog

 

The Timbered Choir

I go among the trees and sit still.

All my stirring becomes quiet around me like circles of water.

My tasks lie in their places where i left them, asleep like cattle.

 

Then what is afraid of me comes and lives a while in my sight.

What it fears in me leaves me, 

and the fear of me leaves it.

It sings, and I hear its song.

 

Then what I am afraid of comes.

I live for a while in its sight.

What it fears in it leaves it,

and the fear of it leaves me.

It sings, and I hear its song.

 

After days of labor,

mute in my consternations,

I hear my song at last,

and I sing it. 

As we sing the day turns, the trees move.

 

-wendell berry

Stuff.

I want to go to this conference so bad! Whose coming with me?? We can bring 3 and split the cost!

You should attend this conference, Im the production coordinator (looking for a stage manager..whose interested? Renee..?) 🙂

I totally messed this recipe up today. Im a cooker not a baker. APPARENTLY you cant substitute eggs with applesauce. my bad.

I was completely inspired by this post this morning.

Im ashamed to admit I want these shoes. Im such an uncool human.

So proud that this is my sister in law. Her blog cracks me up.

Well thats all for now. I just submitted a paper and now Im off to plan Richie and I’s 6 month anniversary to Cabo (why not, am I right?).  Since we have managed to never celebrate any sort of anniversary thus far including during all of our dating years, we decided to cash in on 6 months of marriage.

New things are no longer only around the corner..

So after a lot of waiting and waiting I finally have a job! And not just any job, an amazing job, a dream job really. I am now on staff at my church working with some amazing people to grow and develop some new programs we are launching. Things centered around missions, service, and  volunteerism..aka stuff I am TOTALLY passionate about. Once again I am getting paid to do ministry, something frankly I probably would have done for free (dont tell my boss).

The process of getting here was not easy or pain free, nor will the transition into it be.  But how I arrived here is nothing short of the Lords complete orchestration, and I am just EXCITED. I am working doing something I love and in a grad program that amazes me. Thank the Lord! And thank you to everyone who has been praying for me through this journey. Like my last post showed. I love my world wide web of family and friends!

I Love when….

I love when other countries are lit up on my blog stats page. I like the giant web of relationships Richie and I have. From Africa, to Europe, on down to Latin America, and across the States, we are so lucky with who we have in our life.

Sometimes I play that mind game where I feel a little lonely, a little like Im not too popular, or don’t have enough relationally. But thats not the way God structured my little family’s life. The net is cast wide, the people we love, they scatter the globe. I get sad because I want to tuck them all in the same city so I can have big Saturday night dinners with my nieces and nephews and new sisters, with cousins and aunts, with godparents and close friends.

But when I look at my little blog map Im reminded, I’ve got a community of adventures. That is pretty incredible, and a gift.  So Ill sit here in my little corner of the world, and pray for them, and keep in touch with them, and love them.

The Hole in my Gospel

I am reading this book, and it is altering the strands that make up the fabric of my world. It is churning my insides and making me stay awake long after my husbands soft, exhausted snores fill the room.

There are so many holes in my gospel. So many things in the Bible that I simply ignore. Its not that I sit here and deny its truth, oh no, Satan is much trickier than that. In the ease and comfort of my life, I simply do not dwell on certain things. I emotionally distance myself form my responsibility to the poor broken and outcast. I emotionally distance myself from past experience with poverty in order that I may not have to deal with their pain.

The first time I think that the true injustices of society really hit me, really brought me to my knees, was during a trip to Argentina. Richie and I spent about eight weeks working with a group of kids in a very, very poor neighborhood. Think slums. These kids hardly had enough clothes to keep them warm, it was the dead of winter, and really the only meal they were guaranteed each day was at a local ladies house who opened up her garage and fed them hot cereal.

It was heartbreakingly sad, and so we blogged about it, and people sent money. The last week before we left for the States, we headed into the bad part of town one last time, excited to give a cash gift to help out this local community that had wormed its way into our hearts. When we walked in, we were confronted with grim expressions and found out gut wrenching news.The night before, a baby had frozen to death because the family didn’t have enough blankets. She was the baby sister of one of the kids we played soccer with just the other day. Here we were with the money to buy a thousand blankets, and we were a day too late. I wanted to run away and hide and never try and help someone again. That pain was too severe. Too risky.

But, I am learning, that is not the Gospel. The Gospel looks and that situation, and instead of running away, it runs into it full force, arms wide open.

There is nothing about Matthew 25:31-46 that is easy for me to swallow, but I think it is pretty simple to understand. The more I allow God to grip my soul and to see the world through His eyes, the more I cannot help but be sure of is this fact: The Gospel is action and the Gospel is service. It scares me how often and quickly I miss the point. How quickly I turn my focus on poor old me, and dwell on all my insecurities, compare myself to all these other people and feel bad about myself.

I am a member of a royal priesthood. I have the power of Christ and the direction of the Holy Spirit. Its time for me to live like I actually believe it. And this doesn’t have to be in another country. It can be tomorrow, at lunch, during work, after class. What corners of my world are thirsting for the Gospel to be exemplified?

PinterTest Kitchen Edition!

This first attempting of PinterTest on BeChanged was a fun one! The recipe was a personal fav food: Soft pretzels. Yum! Everything tuned out so tasty, I just think I need to work on my iphone pics being a little less blurry! I HIGHLY recommend you give the recipe a spin, so easy and hard to mess up, and for dinner I added some garlic and parmesan on top before I baked them to eat with some warm corn-chicken chowder. Heck Yeah.

I also love any excuse to use my orange Kitchen Aid.  ImageImageImageImageImage

They also pair nicely with a cup of tea for an afternoon snack!ImageImage